Saturday, 10 February 2007

Angels

These previously wrathful and smite-prone beings have been adopted as cheerleaders by the touchy feely New Age greetings card philosophy that predominates amongst housewives prone to eating too much cheesecake and buying Ann Geddes merchandise.

The horror that is modern angelic appreciation varies from the tall, invariably blonde, clean-shaven Fabio-with-white-robes and dove-wings vision of repressed but unthreatening sexual longing, to the (blonde) vision of ascetic female perfection that resulted in juvenile eating disorders, while the worst involves genitally-discrete naked infants with small wings and vacant expression that appear to represent the fact that God protects us from unfriendly bathroom scales and angry, credit-card-drained husbands by providing airborne spiritual escorts without fully-developed bowel control and a hankering to suckle.

Burn in hell, winged WASP filth.

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