Saturday, 10 February 2007

Children

I don't necessarily dislike individual children. Okay, well, maybe there are one or two out there that I don't hate. Theoretically.

I don't know why people specifically like these little mewling clumps of stimulus/response. They are loud, barely-controlled sacs of unpleasant fluids. They invariably seem to have problems respecting personal property. They don't enjoy good art, besides the occasional Children's Classic. They become randomly tired and screamy in between being overstimulated and sugared. They don't seem to understand anything and continually ask irritating and/or incomprehensible questions. They do not appreciate gestures, only material goods.

Tantrums.

Incontinence.

Expensive clumsiness.

Keep your spawn away from me.

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