Saturday, 10 February 2007

McDonald's

Yes, easy target, but let me explain the depth of my hatred and whence it stems.

McDonald's infiltrates popular culture so pervasively, that when they arrive in a foreign country, without so much as a TV ad, queues form around the block as every automaton in the vicinity decideds to integrate themself with the collective.

Let's examine why this is a symptom of a greater disease.

1 - McDonald's food does not taste good

I have been bought various semi-digestible petrochemical distillate snack doses from the Golden M, and I have to say, you can get a better burger / apple-pie / milkshake... wherever else these things are available. The "apple pie" tastes like sweetened synthetic syrup inside rock-hard cardboard. The burgers taste like meat-flavoured vomit. The fact that they get return customers is in defiance of belief. I have asked WHY people return, and the answers seem like the confused justifications of cult-members. "I don't know, they're... reliable."

2 - McDonald's is aligned with Di$ney

Not content to have every parent on earth buckling to their squawking progeny's insatiable desire for TV-approved comestibles they also facilitate the Di$ney dream of creating a homogenous pseudo-spiritual, culturally and aesthetically bankrupt planet by placing plastic effigies with every Happy Meal®, thereby rewarding mindless gluttony with low-grade idolatry, and furthering the idea that animation is a "children's medium".

3 - Employee Conditions

The phrase McJobs should suffice here.

4 - Faecal Content

Due to poor slaughterhouse practice, their "meat" actually contains faeces.

Please support your local greasy spoon.

No comments: