Saturday, 10 February 2007

Pollyannas

Everything will not get better. That cancer won't heal. The sun will wrinkle your skin. Cake will make you fat. Birthdays mean you're a year closer to death. There are millions of people suffering as we speak. The nature of any democratic political system means that only the scum rises to the surface.

Fuck your optimism. How can I take anyone seriously who hasn't learned that life is a series of disasters and disappointments, ending in death?

Here's a series of things that I have learnt.

1 - Expect the worst of people.

2 - It'll probably rain when you get there.

3 - It's going to hurt like hell.

4 - No, you're aging badly.

5 - Everything makes you look fat. You are fat.

6 - That serial-killer was a widdle chubby baby too, at some point.

7 - No, you can't believe in fairies.

8 - Depressing music is nearly always better.

9 - It won't be over in a minute.

11 - The worst is yet to come.

12 - That homeless guy just bought a bottle of meths with your spare change. No, not to clean stuff.

13 - It's not going to be fun

15 - Your tax got spent on weapons that killed people.

16 - There's nothing miraculous about birth, especially when you don't want it to happen.

17 - Family. You're stuck with them.

18 - Women are not as good as men, they're just as bad.

19 - Children are not innocent. They're monstrous little narcissists bent on finding out how much they can manipulate you into doing what they want.

20 - It won't make you stronger.

I could go on all night, but there are other things that need hatred, too.

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