Saturday, 10 February 2007

Unsolicited Sexuality

I'm all for free access to pics of naked ladies, or naked ladies in the flesh, for that matter, but I really can't stand random smut.

Sex is a private biological function. Maybe perfumes and colognes are designed to assist in the acquisition of coitus, but having Futurama interrupted by a writhing half-naked female with a breathy french accent telling me how the latest $100-a-spritz, cancer-of-the-armpits chemical waste causes her vaginal walls to dilate and moisten borders on harrassment.

Worse still, just because it's after 11PM, there's no reason to haul out the stretched-like-beachballs-sillycones every fifteen minutes to remind me that for a "small fee" I can download "erotic" wallpaper for my cellphone during some genteel old black and white movie I was rather enjoying.

And for that matter, who actually HAS pornographic wallpaper on their cellphone, anyway? Is this considered cool or something?

"Look, ladies, even my cellphone has an effigy of a member of your sex parting her labia minora for my masturbatory amusement. Submit to my powerful sexual magnetism!"

You can call me uptight or whatever. I probably am.

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