Monday, 14 January 2008

"Urban"

Ah, I see you're aware of fashion trends. Are you perchance from an area inhabited by human beings other than yourself?

I suppose that somehow labelling your overpriced tat (which is the same as the tat in the megafranchise branches in all the small towns not "scene" enough to be "urban") gives it "street" "cred".

From what I can surmise, "urban" means tattooed young men in saggy trousers with purposely tousled hair and a pair of white earbuds attached to an iPod full of forgettable irony. Also, lots of graphic design with mock-stencil overspray motifs. Young women dressed much like the young men. Vandalism and flyers with a "clever" set of references to expletives and blasphemies that nowadays offend only the most pious of churchgoers.

Except that now, everything aimed at school-leaving thumbsuckers destined for a career in marketing or finance looks like this. Unless you're "emo" and then you just look worse.

If you halfwitted fucks have decided that "urban" is your secret term for "young", I'd suggest you direct your attention to the fat old bastards that are putting underpaid little clones of you into their neo-minimalist boutiques to sell you a downpayment on their next private jet.

I'd end this with some kind of "urban" buzzword, but I have long since stopped paying attention to those. The intelligent individual prefers cogent erudition to verbal shibboleths, you utter hopeless cunts.

Please - please - retire this word.

2 comments:

Dr. Ding said...

Anyone who can use"shibboleth" and "mock-stencil overspray"in the same blog post is a-ok with me. Great post.

Ladyfingers said...

Thank you very much!

May I ask where you found my blog?