Saturday, 27 September 2008

The Left

While the right is a safe, unchallenging home to inbred, subhuman filth of the lowest order, the left, with all its vaunted intellect and moral fury, can't even beat them.

I find the right's complaints of the left's elitism tiresome, but by Satan, I find the left's sanctimony, naïveté and complete lack of self-awareness and perspective almost stupefying. Give some pampered middle-class buffoon a degree with all the instructive value of a few days in an encyclopaedia and all of a sudden they're Mohandas Gandhi and you with your ill-gotten paycheque are a machine gunner at Auschwitz.

I love George Orwell, but I remember someone saying that he couldn't blow his nose without moralising on conditions in the handkerchief industry. So it is with the modern left. While I feel deeply concerned about the plight of individuals in whichever abject demographic the media feels is profitable to feature in a shocking, award-winning exposé, I really don't I'm morally superior because of it. It doesn't keep me up at night for the same reason that the thermal death of the universe doesn't: there's nothing I can realistically do about it.

Every solution the left offers to assuage their overactive consciences is window dressing. The Kyoto protocol will merely shift the location of the offending smokestacks. Recycling paper causes more pollution than growing and cutting down trees. The lovely organic process of paper manufacture uses more energy than plastic. Growing fuel crops starves children, puppies and kittens. Reducing consumption of imported goods to either protect local jobs or wash hands of sweatshops results in the collapse of developing economies. The frog-eyed infants of Africa that were saved by Band Aid's musings on their awareness of a western holiday are now fully-grown, heavily-armed, rapine thugs macheteing their way to a brighter future free of labia minora, clitorides and other, slightly different Africans.

I also do not think that privileged people are automatically morally inferior. I am very, painfully aware of the level of privilege I am lucky to have been born into, and I am aware that it's fairly near the top of a voracious economic ecology. I call this "luck", and I'm honest enough to believe that I'm so far from even beginning to relate to the people at the bottom of the food chain that I'm not going to pretend I have any empathy for them. I've worn out that gland and it didn't do me or them any good.

The left loves nothing more than to champion the cause of the working man, except perhaps cringeing at his unspeakably vulgar McMansion and Hummer when he makes it into their suburban enclave.

The left is also conscientiously oblivious of the lunatics that populate its fringes. Just like their analogues on the right, the left aggressively stifles dissent. I don't like the right's dismissive catchphrases like "feminazis" or "treehuggers", but it would be nice if the sanctimonious left kicked some of its hectoring embarrassments out of the flock for a change. Where the right has its Hitlers and Pinochets, the left has its Maos And Stalins. And yes, during the cultural revolution and the five year plans, the left did actually support the heroic efforts of Mao and Stalin, much to the chagrin of the few Chinese and Russians who managed to get out of their respective death farms.

The west is guilty of many horrors, to be sure, but what the left in all its handwringing and self-loathing sometimes forgets is that we at least record them, pay lip-service to feeling bad about them and even make token restitution on occasion. We could do better, but don't be asinine and call us the worst.

Where once the left fought against slavery, Apartheid and the divine right of kings, and for the decriminalisation of homosexuality, women's suffrage and the right to abortion, it now fights against simple happiness. Where they once fought against unfair laws, they now fight to legislate their current version of fairness with ever more picayune regulations. Their ideal world consists of a medicated-to-sexlessness, beige-on-grey, heavily-padded cell supervised by an omniscient, omnipotent, entirely benevolent state that protects us from the thoughts of others by euphemising things to obscurity.

I'd gladly pay more tax to keep them locked in it.

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